


Chuckhov's Gun

by ShadowCas



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Chekhov's Gun, Crack, Episode: s14e20 Moriah, Fix-It, M/M, crack!fic, kind of, raunchy and stupid honestly, seriously cracky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2020-02-04 11:54:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18604018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowCas/pseuds/ShadowCas
Summary: An extremely cracky fix-it fic for Season 14 Episode 20, Moriah.Cas decides to use Chuck(hov)'s gun for good: to yeet a fucking soul into Jack.





	Chuckhov's Gun

    Cas managed to roll over and sit himself up. Jack (that little shit) had flung him aside. Though his sight was blurry, he could see that Dean and Jack were still both alive, as Dean had not yet pulled the trigger.

    Oh, good. No idiotic decisions… yet.

    “Dean Winchester, don’t you fucking dare,” Cas said.

    “I gotta, Cas. I don’t want to, but I gotta.”

    God fucking damnit. Literally.

    “Don’t do it, Dean. You can’t take both of you out. Please.”

    Dean’s stare wavered. He broke just a second to glance at Cas, but the gun stayed raised. “I have to, Cas. Without a soul, this kid’s gonna go nuclear. Hell, he already has.”

    “He’s right, Cas,” Jack piped up.

    “Jack, no disrespect, but shut the fuck up,” Cas said, rising to his feet. If he played this right, maybe he could get the gun from Dean before that stupid, beautiful asshole fucked it all up. He began to creep forward.

    Jack continued, “I don’t want to be bad, but without a soul, I don’t really know what that means. Without a soul, I’m a monster.”

    Cas stopped in his tracks, thoughts churning in his mind. “Dean, give me the gun.”

    “No.”

    “FUCKING HELL, DEAN, GIVE ME THE FUCKING GUN. I have a plan, you asshole.”

    Dean broke eye contact with Jack again and turned his head to Cas. The gun lowered slightly. “Okay, I’m listening. What’s the plan?”

    “The gun,” Cas said. “It does the same thing to both parties, correct?”

    “Yeah? And?”

    “Even if that thing is not harmful at all?”

    “Sure, I guess. What’s your point?”

    Cas smiled and let out a sigh of relief as the final pieces clicked into place. “We’ve been going about this all wrong. The answer isn’t to kill Jack, it’s to fix him. Give me the gun, and I can fix him and me both.”

    Dean finally lowered the gun and gave Cas his full consideration. “What exactly do you plan to do?”

    “I’m going to use the gun to yeet a soul into Jack.”

    Dean blinked rapidly. “Excuse me?”

    “I am going to YEET A SOUL INTO JACK. _And_ take away his power. I’ll use the gun to make him human. Not just a Nephilim without his Grace, not like last time, but fully _human_.”

    “But…” Dean started, not quite grasping the concept. Cas could see the gears grinding in his head. “Wouldn’t that make… _you_ human, too?”

    Give Dean Winchester an award for that one.

    “Yes,” Cas affirmed.

    “And you’d be… okay with that. Just being a normal dude, no wings, no Heaven, no more leaving?”

    Cas raised his chin, and feeling particularly bold, he asked, “Will you give me a reason to stay?”

    Within seconds, Dean cycled through five hundred varying shades of pink and red, like a fancy paint sampler. “W-what do you mean?” he mustered up with false bravado.

    Cas leveled him with a look. “You know what I mean,” he said, taking a grand step in for maximum effect. “Will there be something here for me?”

    Dean swallowed. His eyes darted aside, but he came back to Cas. He scratched his ear, playing casual as he said, “There’s always been something for you here. If you want it.”

    “Good.” He smiled, and Dean let out a nervous laugh. Cas felt his heart skip a beat as Dean leaned in, but he turned his head at the last moment so that Dean’s lips only brushed against his cheek. “Once it’s done,” he promised, seeing Dean’s confused expression. He wanted their first kiss together to be vibrant in ways that only humanity would allow.

    He took the gun from Dean and pointed it at Jack. “Are you ready?” he asked. Jack nodded. With that, he thought very hard to himself _I’d like to yeet a soul at Jack_ , and he pulled the trigger.

    The change was painless and instantaneous, but Cas knew immediately that he was truly human again, and that Jack must therefore be, as well. Within a millisecond, the world was sharper. Colors were brighter, smells were sharper, and Dean… _Oh, DEAN._ Dean was much much much much much much hotter. So hot. So hot.

    Cas didn’t have much control over his legs as they brought him back to Dean. _Dean Dean DeanDeanDeaannnnnnnnn_. Without another thought, he pushed his lip against Dean with the intention of making out until the end of time.

    As he took a nice handful of Winchester ass, he became vaguely aware of a car pulling up. After a moment, the doors opened and closed, but he really couldn’t pay it much mind with Dean’s tongue doing that thing.

    “Cas? Dean?” Sam asked. Cas’s worry over whether Sam would be okay with this new development or not was almost enough to make him stop grabbing as much of Dean as possible, but he needn’t have worried because Sam immediately followed up with an exhalation of, “Fucking _finally_.”

    Chuck said, “I agree. Honestly, it’s not the ending I was going for, but I really can’t argue with this. It’s still all due to me, of course. I did plant that Chuckhov’s gun.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry for all of this


End file.
